NFL and other Nightmares

I have never made a secret of my obsessive love of television and all the wonderful hours I have spent with this surrogate parent. From the first kiss I ever shared with Hubby to learning where Will Smith was “born and raised,” most of my happiest memories include television. Heck, I even remember when Friends premiered because I was watching TV that night in Halifax on a friend’s bed in Bronson House at Dalhousie.

Today’s history lesson starts in the Midwest where we received cable completely free of charge. Television in India meant that we paid approximately $7.00 per month for six English channels and a million channels broadcasted in languages I don’t speak. Kenya’s cable boasted far more English but at the cost of a bill about twelve times that of the one we paid in Delhi. All of which means that in a span of three years our cable bill demonstrated a significant rate of inflation.

Not too long ago, we purchased our first flat screen TV and had cable installed. While it was initially a wonderful experience, I have come to almost regret the introduction of American-style programming in our home. You see, our new cable package comes complete with football. And not just the cute boys in short shorts kind either. You see, I got to spend Sunday night watching American football. Aren’t I a lucky, lucky girl?

While I don’t mind watching TV shows from the early 80’s like Knight Rider, and The Incredible Hulk, I draw the line at traveling halfway around the world and still having to watch crappy American sports that I don’t understand or like. When the “throwy guy” got injured last Sunday and Hubby was busy mocking people in his Fantasy Football League, I was simply amazed that he could have actually injured himself while wearing sixty pounds of protective padding.

So now, my first great love has betrayed me, and no amount of NCIS, Buffy, or Ugly Betty reruns can make it better. At this rate, I may actually learn to prefer the outdoors rather than the tender love that cartoons, 80’s movies, and old sitcoms can provide for me. Inshallah that will never, ever happen.