Thursday, October 02, 2008

Midnight Cravings

Your favorite intrepid blogger is not exactly what one might call svelte. In fact, I have been known to refer to myself as a Fat Girl and feel no more than an occasional twinge of shame at the label. I have worked long and hard during my years on this planet putting myself into this state and to date the only proven method of turning Fat Girl into Less Fat Girl is the South Beach Diet. And trust me when I say that nobody likes the crabby, irritable, miserable, carb-free me when I’m on South Beach.

Most skinny people, and you know who you are, think that I chose my state and “could turn things around” if I really and truly wanted to. I have some bad news for you high metabolism people – unlike a smoker who can quit cold turkey, I can’t simply stop eating. “Then eat less!” you preach. Wow, why didn’t I think of that?! My issues with food are far bigger than simply smaller portion sizes or living without happiness… er… pasta. You see, I actually enjoy food. I love to buy it, prepare it, and eventually savor every last bite of it.

I’ve spent more than a passing amount of time contemplating the idea of gastric bypass or other such surgeries but they don’t really appeal to me since in addition to making me thin they make it so that I can no longer enjoy food. The idea of going to Jamie Oliver’s restaurant and only eating a tablespoon of food is enough to make me weep. So despite the fact that the surgery could help me lose oodles of weight, I’m not willing to give up the multi-sensory pleasure of eating to do so.

Take, for example, my most recent overpriced purchase at Carrefour. It all began several nights before we went shopping when the book I was reading included a passage where the narrator enjoyed a classic PB&J with his son. Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a craving!! Despite the fact that I’m not a huge peanut butter person, I found myself explaining to hubby that spending $5USD on a jar of Jif was a good investment. The next day, I made myself two of the best sandwiches ever created. I have no idea if I’ll make any more peanut butter and jam sandwiches now that my craving has been satisfied but for me it was worth the calories and the money to fulfill that momentary dream.

Eating fattening food is bad for me; I get that. But giving up the memory of eating a PB&J for lunch when I was a child, or attempting to recreate the perfect meal that my mother made me growing up are sacrifices that I’m not willing to make.

Eat to live. Live to eat. I’ll admit that a balance between the two is necessary to enjoy a long and healthy life. But to simply “stop eating” for the sake of fitting into everyone else’s vision of “normal” sounds like a miserable way to spend that life.


Anonymous said...

Did you have to go and show a picture of Cinnabon?? I am weeping with cravings that will go unfufilled as sadly I don't think I can convince DH that I absolutly must have the $2500 cinnabon. As that is what it would cost me to fly and get one....*sob*

Lynda said...

Did you get that Cinnabon delivered? At midnight? Good for you. We used Otlob last night - all three of us wanted something different - it was too easy. Musn't do it too often.

I hear ya... life is too short -

Connie said...

We hardly ever eat dessert - not because we refuse, but because we fill up on good food. I spice. I experiment. It's good and we get stuffed. But if we do have dessert, or weekend morning pop tarts, or the rare deep-fried dinner (love the taste, HATE the mess - good combo!) - then that's ok. We ENJOY it. Good food is good for your soul.

I wish I could lose a bit ... but it's a vicious circle. My knees are damaged (overuse/injury) which keeps me from exercising, which does not help with weight, which is bad for my knees. I also used to have a much higher metabolism.. but that was pre-babies and before age 40! But should I diet?? I don't think diets are healthy. The closest I come is trying to make my portions smaller (not stupid small though), stop when full, and try to fill up on fruits, veggies, and smoothies made with fresh fruit, yogurt and honey for sweetner (not diet food - it is too yummy!). My bikini days are in the past - and I really do not care. Mealtime should not be cause for misery, and I do not want my kids growing up with any food 'issues'.

GutsyWriter said...

I'm always surprised to hear you get can get American food in Egypt or anywhere else I wouldn't expect it.
I love quality food, but not quantity. I think living my youth in Paris, taught me that. I didn't come to the US until I turned 25, and had never been used to fast food restaurants in Europe, so I never got used to them in the US.

susan said...

Some of us just aren't built the same as others. I saw a commercial for a popular show and the woman says "Of course I'm cranky! I haven't eaten in 12 years!"

all the skinny people I know are always tired, cranky, and don't take care of themselves well. I don't want to do that...

Jennifer said...

Did you get that Cinnabon delivered? I tried to order from them the other night but didn't get through - do you have the number? (this is a pregnant lady comment, I know - sorry about that!)

American in Norway said...

Just found your blog.. not sure how...but glad I am here... PB&J? I am soo jealous!

Off to read some more!

Kat said...

Can I tell you that I love you? Maybe a touch too soon? :-)

I love food. I should get gastric bypass. But I love food way too much to do that. My mother is about to have it done. Because she says she has no will power doing a regular diet. Huh?

I think that I am just missing a metabolism. Once I find it, I'll be perfect :-)