Things I Remember

That Saturday, I woke up early despite having gone to bed fairly late the night before. Unsurprisingly, both of my parents were up before me and were busy puttering around downstairs. I put on my dressing gown and joined them to eat leftovers in the kitchen.

I think had a glass of apple juice.

Full of nervous energy, I headed to the washroom to shower and wash my hair. By the time I got out, my hair wrapped in a towel, my friend Care Bear had already arrived.

I think she was more nervous than I was.

By the time I was ready to at least change into the requisite iron maiden, my hair had dried, two more friends had arrived, and I was ready for a nap. I knew the house would be full of people all day and yet I felt oddly serene at the center of the storm that surrounded me.

I think my make-up looked weird.

When the big moment arrived as many people as could fit piled into my tiny bedroom. I took off my dressing gown and put on the beautiful white dress. Care Bear fluffed the skirts while SGH tried to hide her tattoos from my mother’s dismayed gaze.

I think I felt beautiful for the first time ever.

The next countless number of hours were filled with photos in the house, in the garden, on my own, with my parents, with my friends, and even the odd one that didn’t include me. At some point Mr. M stopped by to give me a silver penny to slip into my shoe.

I think my feet were already hurting.

When no one was looking, I snuck into the basement to nibble on more leftovers. Before I knew it, the car had arrived and my father and I had to leave.

I think I felt ready.

Unsurprisingly, my aunts were standing outside smoking when I arrived. We tried to usher them so we could get started. My friends and their counterparts entered in pairs. My parents stood on either side of me and as the doors opened they took my arms and reminded me to smile.

I think I took a big breath.

Music was being played somewhere in front me but I looked only straight ahead. Faces both familiar and new smiled back at me as I walked forward but there was only one face I wanted to see. He looked so incredibly handsome. He looked nervous yet happy, his green eyes sparkling as if we were the only two people in the room.

I knew I loved him.

That was 11 years ago and while there have been occasional moments when I was annoyed with him, and even ones when I was angry with him, I have never doubted the words I said that day.

Happy anniversary, my love.