Thursday, May 28, 2009

Things Overheard In a Library

At least once a week, I like to make the insanely long trip into the desert to the Institution where Hubby works. Once there, I spend my mornings in the library writing, I enjoy a bagel for lunch with Hubby, and then head off to the fancy, newly completed gym before its time to head home.

My biggest pet peeve about the Book Palace is its insane level of noise. In all the years I worked at Central, the level of unlibrary-like noise never bothered me. Maybe it’s a sign that I’m getting old but I spend more time shushing people in this talking-friendly building than I do working.

Which is why its more than a little odd that given my druthers I tend to set-up camp in one of the noisiest areas of the Palace on the main floor. What can I say -- I’m a glutton for punishment.

The following are things I actually heard people say between shushings last week.

In favor of plagiarism: “If we reorder the sections we can totally hand in the same paper. He’ll never figure it out!”

In favor of laziness: “Wikipedia is the best resource for the truth out there. As long as I footnote it, I can just copy and paste the whole assignment!”

In favor of break-ups: “It doesn’t count as cheating if he lives in Zamalek and I’m in Maadi.”

In favor of atlases: “I wish we could have made a trip to Africa before we had to leave.”

In favor of return tickets: “Why don’t more people speak English here? All this f*&@ing Arabic is so annoying!”

In favor of being punched: “That fat chick needs to move so we can sit next to each other.”

In favor of studying: “Do you think I can get my ‘D’ bumped up to an ‘A’ if I offer to sleep with him?”

In favor of better nutrition: “If I pay for McDonald’s today can I copy off you during the test?”

Winner of the Sad But True award: “I’m trying to find a word for my paper. What do you call that place where they keep all the books?”

29 comments:

illahee said...

the last one: OH NO!! serious??

sad world. sad, sad world.

(i wish i could go to the library. *sniff* well, technically i could but since i'm basically illiterate, it would break my heart to go there and just look at all the books and not read a one....)

Roxane said...

Oh Man! Isn't it amazing what people will say out loud when they dont think anyone is listening? But trying to get a D to an A for sleeping with the teacher...wow...

the ungourmet said...

Wow! People say the darndest things!

There is a commercial here for this listening device for people that are hard of hearing but they advertise it as a way of eavesdropping on your neighbors and strangers and whomever. I thought it was a joke at first. But they are actually being serious.

Bluefish said...

I hate Wikipedia and I seriously recommend people not to use it as a source at all!

What kind of library is it? It seems like there's only lazy bums inside.

LadyFi said...

Oh, those are just hilarious! THe last one is funny but the one that really knocked me out was the one about wishing to take a trip to Africa... That person definitely needs an atlas and a geography lesson!

Hilarious!

American in Norway said...

Oh gosh... it sure as hell wasn't you... It was a couple of NICE mommies that came over from the photo contest... I think you are a riot.. - I think they read your comment & thought I was trying to calling her a WENCH but couldn't spell it... LOL.... & the whole... I should really try to punch pillows before I take my rage out to the internet... All right then... LOL

Protege said...

Hehe, this was a great read! I can not believe you are lucky (or unlucky) enough to overhear such things! Most people stop talking when I am round.;))
I like the building, there is something futuristicaly ancient about it.;)

Anonymous said...

In the library where you used to work, silence was golden and if you broke the code you got to leave!
merthyrmum

Jacki said...

Sad thing is, I've heard these sorts of things at the university library where I went to school. Just goes to show that no matter what country it is, university students really are stupid.

Thanks for the laugh!

Gaston Studio said...

They're all so SAD to hear!!

Now, where is this place and what is it officially called?

Kat said...

Our libraries are so loud here too. And they even have special rooms to go into if you actually need quiet. Craziness.

But the things you heard. Unreal!

Tracy P. said...

Holy buckets! This is the funniest, saddest thing I have seen in a long time! Your "In favor of:" statements are priceless, ATLASES being my favorite. Or would that be least favorite?

My brother lives in Senegal, so I'm sure some people would figure since you both live in Africa (well, IF they could figure that out), you probably know each other. ;-)

I've been following you around this morning--first Veggie Mom, then Betty, so I thought I'd stop and say hello!

Sturgmom said...

You seriously didn't make that up? It's a sad sad commentary on our world. Hilarious, but sad.

I think I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut...

Betty said...

Did they know you could hear them? :)
Some were truly sad!

Nicole said...

It's all over the Globe.
It makes me shudder and it makes me want to hide.
There's no hope for human kind ;)

Jennifer said...

I love this post. It's awesome! Having read a bunch of student papers and exams today though, they all sound like they might be students of my husband - sadly.

Katherine Aucoin said...

It's funny but sad. The people of the world have lost their ethics and it seems to be okay with everyone else.

The Blonde Duck said...

Civilization is declining as we know it...

TED said...

MacDonalds has to be my favourite, there is no quicker way to a students heart. In my day the Pot Noodle was the staple diet of students (UK), oh how things have changed.

On a side note I have approved yur listing in The expat Directory - http://www.theexpatdirectory.com/c1/Egypt.php

I will be a regular reader now, not chuckled so much for years, thanks.

Simple Answer said...

These are a trip! What fun to listen in!

Casey (@ Ever-Changing Life) said...

Would you mind emailing me? I have a friend who is moving to Cairo with her husband this fall. I thought maybe you could help? Please :)

bluestarblogs@gmail.com

Thanks!

Brenda said...

Thats a great post! I´ve always wanted to do one about things I overhear in church, but I am afraid people will identify themselves and be offended. Maybe in a few months I will do one.

Connie said...

I was speaking with a local manager the other day and he told me how one day he had his (non-English speaking) crew working in a foreigner's house, he was giving them directions in Arabic and the guy complained, and demanded that he not do so in front of him... WTF?!? What was he supposed to do? Use sign language? Psychic communication? Yes, a return ticket was way overdue. What is with these people?! Go home, passport stamped 'No!' in big red letters, you should not ever be allowed out, ever ever again.

Yaya said...

oh my gosh!

Rachel said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! I look forward to looking around yours :)

Melissa B. said...

One of the most entertaining duties I have as a high school teacher is googling passages from student assignments to find out where they stole them. Seriously, some are quite lazy, and take the first thing that pops up on the Web; others are crafty, and hard to catch. But catch them I do, and woe is them! PS: Please don't forget to join our Sunday Funnies with a visit to Sx3 today!

Delectable Dining said...

I love the concept of your blog... will definitely be back! :)

Michelle said...

Ahhhh... I love listening in on other people's conversations. You got some real gems. At least you're entertained while being annoyed, right?

Corinne said...

Now THAT was funny! Thanks for the laugh!!