Thursday, June 04, 2009

Cyber Love

Despite the fact I should know better, I have always assumed that Hubby and I were somewhat unique. Yes, I know our mutual freakishness makes us unique but I’m talking about the way we met. When I blogged about this topic in May, I was shocked by how many people responded by saying they too had met their significant others online.

Hubby and I were early players in the game of Internet relationships yet we’re certainly not the only ones. Even in Hubby’s own family, we weren’t the only ones. Not only did BIL meet his lovely wife, Fiona online through an RPG, but my MIL met her new husband through eHarmony.

Even with the proof in my own family, I remain amazed at how many people have met their soulmates online. Whether by chance like Hubby and me or guided by a higher power like eHarmony, millions of people right now are using the Internet to find love. Based solely on the number of commercials I saw for Internet matchmakers when I was in Toronto, I can only conclude that the “stigma” once associated with online love is a thing of the past.

And yet when people ask “How did you two lovebirds meet?” the Internet still receives more shocked and dubious looks than either “at a drunken wet t-shirt contest during spring break” or “he was in the cell next to me during that time I was arrested for indecent exposure during Mardi Gras.”

When people hear “Internet romance,” I can usually read the myriad of thoughts that flash through their heads: pedophiles, nerds, geeks, freaks, netsex, and perverts. My response to which are: eww, thank you, hell yeah, what’s your point, NOT, and no comment.

The unkind, if silent, accusations are probably why I always follow up, “We met on the Internet” with a rather defensive, “Oh but it wasn’t one of those chat rooms.” Do other cyber lovers go through this? Am I simply imagining the judgment because I’m such a neurotic freak?

I knew I should have married the guy I met in prison! At least then I wouldn’t be judged.

30 comments:

Kat said...

I met my husband in a bar. I think that he had beer goggles on at the time. Or at least I am sure that is what they are thinking when they look at us and hear the story. Some people just need to be smacked :-)

Jennifer said...

ROTFL! I'm sure after reading this post, your prison boyfriend is in tears over your unrequited love! ;-)

Vanessa Rogers said...

I have heard of people meeting online but I have only ever met one couple and they were crazy. It is interesting to hear the success stories.

Laura said...

I have met most of the people I know online - girls and boys - friends and lovers!

So if I say we DIDNT meet thro the internet they raise eyebrows!

Not sure how my family would take it tho ;-p

Bluefish said...

“Oh but it wasn’t one of those chat rooms.”

Good quote. People are always amazed or in shock that we met online, but not in a chat room though. However I did met my first love in a chat room.

It seems like my romantic encounters are all originated from chat rooms. But now I don't care what people think when I tell them where we've met.

Protege said...

Ah, I so agree with you! I met my Irishman online as well and I am still reluctant to disclose that to others, as I feel judged like some sort of freak. Or nerd. Or as if I was not able to meet men in "real life".;))

But actually, meeting someone online without actually seeing them creates a whole new level in dating, which supereseeds anything I have experienced before as the attraction is based on mental and intellectual compatibility.

I know I have found my soulmate and I am thanking the net every day for bringing him my way.;)

Loved this post!

LadyFi said...

LOL!

I met my husband in a pub...

Rocksee said...

I met mine in a jail. He works there!

Jacki said...

I know of several success stories, so I don't think you are freakish at all. :-)

Gaston Studio said...

I've encountered many people who have met online, followed by marriage or long term relationships, so you are not alone. Personally, I wouldn't allow judgemental people to worry you one bit; they have their own perceptions about things but you KNOW what actually took place.

Juls said...

...I didn't know until right before my bro and his wife were married. (this was at least a year after they met) that they had met online...

I thought it was kind of cool...
______________
By the way, thank you for your kind words... I really do think that my best friends are all over the world...and are people that I have never "met" ....but I know that you are awesome, and so much strength right now. Thanks so much!!

Little P said...

Great posting! Yea, it's a very slow process, but I think people are getting more accepting of the internet. And I think internet dating (I'm particularly thinking of eHarmony and those sites because I have only known people who have used those)is great for 2 things: 1. for the most part you know that people are looking for long-term relationships and so a lot of normal dating crap is out and 2. you can talk to them at a safe distance until you want to get close (ie, check them out- make sure they are not pycho... as much as your can tell). Of course, you have to be carefully, but I'm sure there are just as many psychos at bars and stuff as online! :)

Susie said...

I guess people just picture the internet as a place for SEO scams and pedophiles:-)

the ungourmet said...

It seems pretty common for people to meet online now. The internet has become quite a social gathering. I don't think it's weird at all.

Betty said...

This is so true! Even though I´m not one of "those" that judge, I know people that think that way. My daughter being one of them. I tried to encourage her to try Christian online dating rooms, but she thought I was crazy....
Why is there such a stigma on this?

Michelle said...

It's always amazing to me the way people think -- what is the RIGHT way of meeting someone? Until we go back to the days of paid matchmakers (and hey -- not a bad idea sometimes!), there's going to be a variety of ways to meet people and the Internet is certainly one of them. And I like to pretend that THOSE kind of chat rooms just don't exist ;)

saucy apron said...

hey you were the blog above me @ sits! might me moving to india so i'll keep up with you for expat love.

Choco said...

Who cares what people think!!! No really. Next time just say "We met on the internet" and pause for added effect. Watch them like a hawk. Wait for smart comments if any. Only reply is taunted or something!

Try it. Trust me it is great fun to tease people! :D
Cheers

Nicole said...

I guess I am too much of an Internet junkie to even get the idea of people looking at you like you are a pervert.
Weird.
:/

San said...

I think your love story is really fabulous! Haha... mine is much more... sedated. I met my hubby cos we were in the same church, same small group.

Haha!

Three Prince Designs said...

I think however you met is wonderful- screw the people that give your weird looks! I love your other answers- that is funny!

Melissa B. said...

My Lil Sis met her hubby online. They've been married 12 years. Think it was a match made in Heaven...or at least in cyberspace!

Jen said...

You never know where you will find love. Now a days I don't think it is that unusual to meet someone online. My sister met her finance playing online scrabble. She met her intellectual match. Started out playing games, next chatting, next phone calls, next texting and phone calls and facebook, next meeting, and then fall in love! So you never know, right!

My husband- a grocery store!

Jen
Creative and Curious Kids

zelzee said...

I know many people who have found relationships via the internet, and I think it is wonderful.

It is not easy meeting someone, unless you hang out in bars (met one of my hubbys there......don't get me started).

Whatever works! There are so many wonderful people out there that deserve to meet someone special.

GutsyWriter said...

I met my husband through a magazine ad that he placed and there was a discount coupon attached. HAHAHA!
That was before Internet dating. He was one of 5, I circled in the magazine. I met all of them, except one, he lived in Montana, and we got engaged 3 months later. We've been married for 22 years now. So it works!

Corinne said...

I met Sverre when he was visiting California, but people seem to automatically assume we met online. I hear it all the time. "Oh, he's Norwegian? Did you...meet online?" Not that there's anything wrong with it, I met my high school boyfriend online in a chatroom for my town's teens, but it's weird how even though there's a stigma attached, people will automatically assume long-distancers met online.

cripkitty said...

You know it's interesting. There were quite a few of us that paired off back in the day. When I paired off with my guy, who now is a divorced father of one...it was really weird. It was considered abnormal. I think somewhat after that movie, "You've got mail" perceptions changed over here at least.

I think people that judge how you meet are crazy. Silly. Not worth worrying about.

Lynn said...

i met my current man online, and he's a treat! far more of a treat than the one i met in a bar last winter...

in fact, he's my date to a 'lavalife wedding' this weekend.


l.

honkeie2 said...

I have yet to met anyone in real time I have met in cyber time. No real reason for it but it might happen someday.

Abu Dhabi/UAE Daily Photo said...

I'm recently divorced. Prior to this relationship which started almost 8 years ago, I held some pretty strong opinions about online dating. And yet here I am in Abu Dhabi signed up for eHarmony, match.com, Guardian Soulmates, and some other crap site that seems to attrack a number of oddballs from around the globe. I see A LOT of nice men on match and eHarmony (seemingly nice), but being in Abu Dhabi hasn't turned up much in the way of potential matches. My friend tells me if we spent as much time in bars as we do cruising profiles we might actually meet some men. And yet I'm still hopeful that this will pan out. I'm glad it's worked out for you and I hope it might work out for me, too.