Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I Am Not PMSing

The following is a brief list of things men don’t have to go through. Things men don’t get. And most of all, things men need to learn a little bit more about before they complain about anything to any woman ever again.
There’s the bloating, the cramps, that time of the month, and all the euphemisms that go with it.

During the summer, there’s the bikinis and the bikini waxes.

At least those are only in summer. Because all year round we have to deal with lip waxes, high heels, and eyelash curlers, all of which go with the dress you can’t sit down in anyways.

Don’t get me started on childbirth.

In the workplace, we have charges of being b!tches when we fight the glass ceiling. While on date night we’re called sluts for smiling at cute boys, or frigid for not giving them our numbers.

And at home, we’re accused of PMS just because we want to eat everything in sight, write bitter blog posts, or snap at our loved ones who dared to suggest that books don’t always have to be in alphabetic order. Just because I’m cranky doesn’t mean it’s PMS! Maybe you did something wrong!

Oh and I’m never, ever cranky!

But when all is said and done, I have to admit that I wouldn’t trade it for all the Y-chromosomes in the world. You see, I enjoy being a girl!

34 comments:

Kat said...

You are so hilarious. And oh so right. I don't even have a modicum of penis envy. I don't know how they walk around all day with that thing :-)

Corinne said...

I agree with Kat, would rather deal with the PMS than have everything just...out there...like that. Where'd you find the birthing doll, did you knit that? Omigod, I had to do a double take, how funny!

Brenda said...

This is SO funny! I used to struggle with the lack of equality but I find as I get older its easier to handle. And I think things kind of even out as we age.

Bluefish said...

I'm cranky 24/7...I just have a very short temper:p

illahee said...

LOL AMEN!

and don't even get in my face first thing in the morning. i have long fingernails!!

San said...

Hahaha!!! Funniest post I read in a while! ;) Nicely put! This sure made my non-PMS day!

LadyFi said...

Very funny... you forgot to mention the chocolate binges... or is that only me?

NicoleB said...

Hilarious :D!

My dogs can tell you exactly when I'm PMSing ;)

Rocksee said...

if boys went through even one of the millions of things we have to deal with.. they would cry. big fat tears.

Sturgmom said...

A man could NEVER handle being a woman!

Sturgmom said...

Oh, and when you master knitting, will you be moving on to crocheting naked women in the throes of childbirth? I see a moneymaker in your future. ;)

Lydia said...

Really, that knitted/crocheted doll picture takes the cake. You hit the nail on the head! Men have no idea, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Gaston Studio said...

Good one! But that knitted woman having the baby is totally gross!

the ungourmet said...

Amen! Boys aren't nearly as cool as girls! Well, except for my son, he's pretty cool!

Jacki said...

I like being a girl, too! I am able to wear skinny jeans and 4-inch stilettos. And makeup.

Roxane said...

LOL What a fantastic post! I'm not gonna lie, every once and again I wish I was a man...around the 28th day of my cycle or so LOL
ps. that childbirth doll is so intensely creepy!

Little P said...

Hahaha! That is so funny! And I love the pictures. I hate guys who say that you are PMS-ing (well, in Jr High more) - "if I wasn't cranky, I sure as hell am now because you said that, you dumb ass!"

Betty said...

You forgot menopause!! :)

Jemma Ruby said...

That is an excellent post- let's also not forget us gals will wear shoes in which we can no longer feel our toes because they hurt so damn bad as well! :-)

honkeie2 said...

I love being a man, and have plans of coming back as a male...anyting in the next life lol. Sorry, I love being me lol

Jennifer said...

LOL! I want that doll!!!

The Blonde Duck said...

That doll creeped me out! But all birthing pictures do.

Perhaps if we gave them stomachs that freaked out over sugar at certain times of the month or breasts that felt like someone had slammed a truck into, perhaps then they would get it.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

The birthing doll - much too funny.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Not enough money in the world to get me to be a man. But did you hear Chasity Bono (Cher's daughter) is having a sex change!!! (Honest!)

See what you're missing in the good ole USA :-)

confessionsofacountrygirl said...

AMEN sister! Guys are weird anyway. Dropping by to say thank you for stopping by my blog on my SITS day! Have a great weekend!

bettyl said...

They will never understand! Love the doll!

BPOTW said...

Such a great post!

Thanks for linking at BPOTW!

Shawna said...

The eyelash curler was invented by the devil. No joke. I would have so many more eyelashes if I hadn't tried using curlers when I was younger. Now, I've just given up.

Shawna's Study Abroad

Sarah said...

Hey
just dropping by to say hey and your blodg is awesome!
XX

Vanessa Rogers said...

How true!! But your right, I would never trade being a girl!

Gombojav Tribe said...

That's right! You'd want to be a boy! Being a girl rocks! Even if we have to put up with some things!

Kay said...

Gilr power starts with being a girl right?

I sooo feel you on the PMS thing... and the books In Order thing (and CDs too)... why they don't get that, I will never know.

Wifey said...

Classic post! LMAO at the childbirth doll. Wow.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Fida said...

OMG, I love this sooo much, I have to tell someone else to read it...lol

And that childbirth doll is priceless!