Friday, September 19, 2008

Withdrawal Symptoms

Never let it be said that I am even remotely normal. In fact, I have always been known as the girl who is slightly to the left of normal. Were I to be honest I would tell you that I was the girl who was WAY to the left of normal. Don’t get me wrong, I like being weird because it is a far more fun way to spend a day. But sometimes I am confronted with the fact that I may be too odd even for the oddballs.

Take ATMs for example. In Nairobi, being mugged after taking money out of your local machine o’money is considered a common and not unreasonable fear. Hubby even told me of a group of people who were taking it one step further and carjacking you after your visit to the ATM. But my warped mind knows an even more sinister way of having your money stolen after a trip to the bank: psychics!

Don’t mock me until you hear my (scarily) well-thought out idea. Whenever you type your PIN into your ATM, you think the numbers as you type. You walk up to the machine and after checking that the person in line behind you is at least 10 feet away, you put your card in the slot, and think to yourself, “Nine, oh, two, one, oh,” as you hit the numbers in front of you. Now imagine that the 10-feet-away-guy didn’t need to be able to see over your shoulder because he could read your mind. All he has to do is pick your pocket for a card you won’t miss for several days at the very least. Boom! The perfect psychic crime!

If you’re done making fun of me, please allow me to finish my story. I came up with this theory several months ago and have actually begun thinking the wrong numbers as I type just in case there’s a psychic in the area. The sad part of this story is that it is absolutely true. And the scary part is that the ATM craziness isn’t even the tip of the wacky iceberg that is my mind.

Imagine a world where magic exists and fairy tales have some sort of grounding in reality. Think about a place where stuffed animals have social lives when you’re not around and the naughtier, more wicked version of yourself exists just beyond the backwards surface of your existence. If you can grasp these off kilter ideas, you may begin to comprehend the kind of things that go on in my mind every day.

Why be normal when you can be me!

5 comments:

Connie said...

I don't have to worry about the psychic thieves. I can't remember numbers well, only patterns... I think that is harder for the evil psychics to pick up on that.

I am anti-normal too. Normal is boring. I'm trying to raise my kids to be open-minded too. Some may argue that if you keep your mind 'too open', your brain can fall out. Well, that hasn't happened yet.. why should I choose to believe that? I'd rather believe in mischievous house gremlins, ATM psychics, the spirit in my car that keeps it running happy if I am nice to it, etc. It's much more interesting.

Greetekees said...

Hello dear TypO, thanks for you message, very kind. Yes this is the END. Anyway I will keep blogging, because Amsterdam is another interesting city to write about. I will now leave another comment on your taxi experience blog.

Anonymous said...

Lord I miss you!!

M

Lynda said...

Now I am scared for you... if this is how you think at the START of your time in Egypt... lord knows (or Allah, I suppose) where you will be at the end!.... psychic pin number pinchers... have you been hitting the 'sheesha' a litte too often?

Red Eyes said...

You must be having such a great time.