I realize that many of you have known what I’m about to say for ages and then some; however, it has only just occurred to me how truly sick and twisted I really am. No, you freaks not in the evil, yucky way that defines a truly twisted soul. More in the “I really need to stop being such a hater and finding humor in the wrong things” kind of way.
Case in point: I was perusing a new blog I found recently and the subject of book reviews came up. Well, you can’t very well talk about book reviews and not discuss Amazon and all the reviewing that goes on there. (Before I get to the meat of the story allow me to interject that, as my Devoted Readers you know that I use, read and shop on Amazon for both wishfully and practically. Thus I am not one to randomly dis the randomness of reviews found there so any humor I may find there is pure and not overly twisted… I think.)
Anyways… The person I was talking to via the oft-unused-around-here Comment feature (hint, hint, hint), told me a funny Amazon story. According to her, a few years ago Amazon accidentally hiccupped and showed the real names of people who wrote reviews. This would be their real names as opposed to the their cool Cyber Nairobi Typ0 type names. What was revealed was that family members of “rival” authors had done several very negative reviews and several good reviews had been done by the author’s family themselves.
I’m almost positive that I was supposed to be outraged by the horrors of having family members write reviews to pump up sales but all I could think was, “Good ‘onya!” Growing up your mother has to say you’re pretty even when you’re not. But doesn’t it make you feel a little bit better when she does? And your husband has to say that your fat butt looks good in those jeans that haven’t fit for 6 months. But it makes you love him, and yourself, all the more when he does.
The flip side of my hilarity was the Rival Family angle. Ok, this is totally wrong but so funny I’m actually giggling as I type. It’s so high school to think that these wonderful and published authors have the Head Cheerleader of from their school out on a whispering campaign to ‘dis some other random author who beat them up at recess once and is now pillaging their potential sales. (Please forgive my total mixing of metaphors there.)
“My son’s book is better!” “No my daughter’s book is perfect and even more better!” “No mine!” “No mine!” Please, let’s grow up or at least remember to use better fake names in the future.
To further my amusement at the cost of only me, I looked up reviews of your favorite blog (this one, silly!) online only to find that these horrible Rival Families were after me too!
Review by Nair Obi:
“You do not want to read Delhi Typ0’s blog. She’s a no talent hack who disses India up one way and down the other! If you want to read about the real beauty of India check out Nairobi Typ0’s blog. She’s got talent oozing out her tanned little pores.”
Review by Del Hi:
“I recently read Nairobi's blog on the subject of obtaining a maid (and keeping her) while in New Delhi. I must say that this woman’s erratic writing style and inexcusable misspellings make her prose virtually unreadable. This, of course, is to say nothing of the fact that she should quit her day job and try doing the housework herself if keeping a maid is difficult. I found her writing pedantic when compared to the unerring good taste and brilliance of Delhi Typ0’s blog which I recommend to anyone who wishes to view an honest and forthright vision of the wonders of India.”
If any of you know where I can find Mr. Obi please tell me so that I can find out why they are going around being mean to my friend Delhi Typ0. But then Delhi Typ0 is such a great, wonderful, talented, and incredibly modest blogger.… As I’m sure you’d all agree. :p
We may graduate, but I really don't think that most of us ever really leave high school. That insecurity, that angst, that need to be recognized will be most people's companion for life. So now, how do I write a review for you?
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