Sunday, February 18, 2007

Desperately Seeking New News

This episode of Blog started off as a rather amusing tale about how I’m not into doing charity work or being a Do Gooder. I did that once and now I’m pretty much over it. I mean, I’ll work in the offices for other Do Gooders but actually getting out there in the field really isn’t for me. I’m a shallow person and I accept that – not that my lack of oceanic depths is really news to most of you Devoted and Beloved Readers. (That, by the way, was a cue for lots of emails and public comments here on the blog swearing that you think that I really *am* a good person. Just so you know.)


I was in the midst of writing that incredibly witty monologue when I realized that my cartoon had ended and there was nothing else on TV for another fifteen minutes. This was naturally a cue to get my daily sound bites so I switched to the BBC. (CNN was showing a lovely commercial for Bahrain and Sky News isn’t a real news outlet so I wasn’t about to go there.) After catching the end of piece about Condi Rice they headed back to the newsroom – to talk about Anna Nicole Smith. What?!

Not wanting to listen “news” about a dead woman famous for being stoned and drunk in
public, having fake breasts, and being a general twit, I headed to CNN. Guess what BIG story they were talking about? Oh yeah. It was Anna freaking Nicole Smith.

How does this count as news? Maybe for one-day right after she died. Perhaps even for a week or so on E! and other entertainment-themed “news” outlets (that, let’s face it, I normally watch religiously). But for legitimate news organizations to still be talking about this non-story about a celebrity famous for being a former Playmate is ridiculous. There must real new stories out there they could be reporting on. But no, evidently we all desperately need to know about Anna Nicole Smith and who may or may not be her “baby daddy.”

This must be what they refer to as a “slow news cycle.” And I for one, can’t wait until it’s over and the world has something new to be scandalized over… like, say a war or two in the Middle East, a virtual genocide in Africa, global warming, or even, if they were really desperate for something to talk about a breakout new author that they think should be highlighted and introduced to the world. You know. Real news.

PS Not wanting to seem unfair to Sky News, I flipped the channel there for a moment before finishing this entry. They, I’m happy to say, were not talking about Anna Nicole Smith. No, they were reporting on Britney Spears and her new bald hair-do. Hard hitting news as always…


Anonymous said...

I thought you were watching/reading about railroads??

Anonymous said...

You really ARE a good person - I swear! LOL