The Typ0 of Babylon

I realize that I haven’t blogged in a few days, so I thought it was a good time to catch you up on what’s been going on in my ever-thrilling life. The biggest reason for my silence is that we are currently hosting our very first guest! Nope, it’s not Queen E (who arrives next week) but Gordon Keith (in town interviewing for a job with Hubby’s Organization) who has been blessed with the honor of being the first to test out our Kenyan hosting skills. Cool, huh?

Those Devoted Readers with a good memory (or at least those of you who can scroll down a post or two) will probably recall that Hubby is out of town in Indonesia at the moment. (Truth in Blogging: As I post this, he’s actually in Thailand for a day. My bad.) Either way, that means that Chez Typ0 currently has two occupants: yours truly and her male friend who is not related to her: Gordon Keith.

I can see some of you sniggering already… don’t worry; it gets more farcical from here.

Despite the fact that GK is staying in the Guest Room, his things are strewn about in there, and the fact that his bed had clearly been slept in (as was mine upstairs, thank you) my housekeeper took me aside shortly after meeting GK to ask me about my guest. “Is this man your relative?” she asked tentatively. Uhoh. I should have seen this coming. “No, Mr. Gordon Keith isn’t my relative, he’s Mr. Hubby’s friend from school.” She continued to look dubious. “And I think of him as a brother.” She looked at me skeptically, “A little brother?” She then surreptitiously peered around the corner to see if GK was as good looking as she remembered. “Ok, Madam,” was her response as she turned to face the stack of dishes in the sink. Is it just me or did that “Ok Madam” speak volumes?

Chapter Two: Hubby arranged (from overseas) for GK and I to go out on the town with a colleague of his on Thursday night. It should be noted for the record that Corny is a not exactly an ogre in the looks department and that he would be driving around for the evening and, therefore, picking us up.

At seven o’clock the security phone rang. “Hello?” There was sniggering on the line. “Hello madam. Do you know a man named,” he paused for a rather odd and dramatic moment, “Andrew?” “Yes, I do. Please send him up.” “Ahh yes, Madam. I will send the gentleman to you directly.”

Great it wasn’t enough that my housekeeper thinks I’m a ho entertaining men while my husband is out of town that now the gate guards have to get in on the act?! I’m pretty sure that I am now officially considered the Whore of Babylon amongst the building staff for entertaining strange men in my apartment while my poor, unsuspecting husband is out of town. I’m also pretty sure that I’m not going to deny that GK and Corny are strange (‘Cause they are!) but really… Can’t a girl have friends of the opposite gender without everyone and their staff thinking she’s going to jump their very good looking bones?!

I’ll leave you with that thought as I now have to go and finish sewing scarlet A’s onto all of my outfits, smuggle a few more men into my den of iniquity, or at the very least, find a lower cut blouse to wear when I beat my neighbor’s son up for playing his music so freaking loudly that I can feel the walls vibrate from the bass. You know how it is: no rest for we wicked ho’s of the world…