Saturday, October 11, 2008

Finding the Funny

People in the know have informed me that I can be a miserable and negative person. Moreover, they have pointed out, I have shared this bitchy attitude with people who did nothing to deserve it – namely you, my Devoted Readers. To make up for what I have been told is a gross abuse of your good spirits, I have decided to share a few amusing anecdotes as they apply to the crappiness of my current situation. (A girl can’t change overnight, you know!)

Our sea shipment hasn’t arrived yet despite promises from everyone and their baladi dog that it is safe in Egypt and should be delivered “tomorrow.” I have long given up hope that my things will arrive in one piece anytime before I hit menopause which means that either a) I am due for early onset menopause in the next two weeks; OR b) Hubby can be happy that while we may never see the beautiful things we had made in India and Kenya, he will also never have to see me in the midst of a hot flash.

While we’re on the subject of my oft-discussed but never seen sea shipment, I feel the need to share the reason I haven’t gone ballistic on anyone yet. You see, everyone else is busy going ballistic for me. An incredibly fun game of “You’re the Bigger Screw-up” has developed over the last week with everyone from the Institution and both the Kenyan and Egyptian branches of the moving company pointing fingers at everyone else. In my mind, the Institution won the game yesterday with their scathingly superior email that had me in giggles before the first paragraph was even finished. What that means for our things is anyone’s guess but I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop with lots of complaining in the interim.

One of our most recent discoveries has been a small town of mold living beneath the floorboards in our bedroom. While the village never bothered us before, once Hubby knew it was there his hypochondria kicked in and he has been sniffing and coughing nonstop ever since (Hubby Edit: this was purely a coincidence). Upon finding this culture of penicillin living mere feet from our bed, we immediately contacted the people in charge and politely asked them to rectify the situation. Earlier that day, we had also asked the PTB if they could pick up some unneeded things from our flat and take them away to Not Here Land. Needless to say, in the five days since our first email none of this has been done and the mold town is well on it’s way to becoming a mold megalopolis. Yay!

The silver lining here is that if the PTB don’t take away my furniture by Sunday, I’m going to have a yard sale. Well, obviously I won’t do that since I don’t have a yard (this is Cairo after all) but I will put it all in the front hall of the building and thank the PTB for their kind response to my emails. I am a bitter woman who has not been granted the ability to nest. Don’t mess with me!!

I have many more amusing tales of my bitterness, but I have decided to save them for another day. It’s early and I have a busy day of food shopping, dream killing, and television watching ahead of me. And who knows, by this time next week, I may be sitting on my own couch, enjoying blog inspired menopause while talking to benevolent aliens from another galaxy who simply want to watch cartoons and listen to Avril Lavigne songs. Yup, there’s always a silver lining in my bitter universe.

POSTSCRIPT: Hubby says that he is bored of my talking about this topic ad nauseam. He further observed that you are probably bored of my talking about this topic. Sadly, as is often the case in these situations, he is probably right. Thus, unless something spectacular happens like our things are actually delivered or our shipment is seized by land-based pirates in the Egyptian Customs office, I will not be blogging about this topic again in the near future. Luckily, Cairo is sure to provide an endless supply of great blog topics in the interim.


Lynda said...

Blog (read vent) all you like... some of us know exactly what you are going through and have much much compassion....
Surprised about the mould - that is the one thing we have NOT seen here and my kids health has been greatly improved because of it.
I guess if it was a choice of mould or rats... hmmmmm

Connie said...

Venting is good for you... and it is also good for future movers. It is so much easier to deal with potential problems, if you expect them, even if there's not much you can do but sit, wait, blog, etc. Being blind-sided hurts.

Be warned. Your mold friends may not be the culprit. We're coming to the icky-air season very soon/already? I do not have allergies, but I will take Claritin to deal with the pollution. Anyway, either bleach bomb those moldy suckers, or name your city and keep us informed of their civilization and technological advances.

Anonymous said...

Ranting is great when it's this funny. Take that, hubby!

Miss Kim said...

Nice to meet a fellow Canadian Expat Blogger! Wooo hooo! CEB's Unite!

Now I'm off to read more of your blog.... yippee!

Anonymous said...

Well, my dear, menopause??
Back in one piece!

Debbie said...

That's what blogs are for...venting and laughing...and crying...and venting...

Thanks for stopping by Blog Around the World. Just wanted to let you know that you are linked under Egypt. Check in daily to see where in the world we are headed next!

Anonymous said...

Venting is what blogs are FOR! And threatening the PTB about putting the unneeded things out for the farash or the neighbors, USUALLY gets them to come and take it away. Good luck.