Things Overheard In a Library

At least once a week, I like to make the insanely long trip into the desert to the Institution where Hubby works. Once there, I spend my mornings in the library writing, I enjoy a bagel for lunch with Hubby, and then head off to the fancy, newly completed gym before its time to head home.

My biggest pet peeve about the Book Palace is its insane level of noise. In all the years I worked at Central, the level of unlibrary-like noise never bothered me. Maybe it’s a sign that I’m getting old but I spend more time shushing people in this talking-friendly building than I do working.

Which is why its more than a little odd that given my druthers I tend to set-up camp in one of the noisiest areas of the Palace on the main floor. What can I say -- I’m a glutton for punishment.

The following are things I actually heard people say between shushings last week.

In favor of plagiarism: “If we reorder the sections we can totally hand in the same paper. He’ll never figure it out!”

In favor of laziness: “Wikipedia is the best resource for the truth out there. As long as I footnote it, I can just copy and paste the whole assignment!”

In favor of break-ups: “It doesn’t count as cheating if he lives in Zamalek and I’m in Maadi.”

In favor of atlases: “I wish we could have made a trip to Africa before we had to leave.”

In favor of return tickets: “Why don’t more people speak English here? All this f*&@ing Arabic is so annoying!”

In favor of being punched: “That fat chick needs to move so we can sit next to each other.”

In favor of studying: “Do you think I can get my ‘D’ bumped up to an ‘A’ if I offer to sleep with him?”

In favor of better nutrition: “If I pay for McDonald’s today can I copy off you during the test?”

Winner of the Sad But True award: “I’m trying to find a word for my paper. What do you call that place where they keep all the books?”