The Runaway

I know I’ve been gone for a while. I hope some of you are still around to read this: I’m sorry I disappeared. I didn’t mean to. Heck, I was still writing blogs in my head for at least some of that time. I simply wasn’t able to connect my thoughts to my fingers long enough to put a concrete and complete thought on paper.

Some of you may know, although many don’t, that my situation has changed. Despite the description in the sidebar (which I really need to change), I am no longer one of two on an adventure around the world. My husband and I have split up and I am now busy trying to wander the world in search of myself by myself.

Lest I get ahead of myself, allow me to clear something up: I’m not going to clear anything up. I spent 15 years of my life (dating and later married) with the man I called my best friend. Although we both inadvertently burned, bombed and decimated the bridges of that friendship he is still someone I care for and I will not dishonour him by ever speaking of what happened between us.

This separateness is new – only a few weeks old – and I miss having someone to call with something I know would amuse them. I miss the shorthand and second language that come with 12 years of marriage. I miss my friend and that is why I’ve run away from home.

After we left Egypt for Norway in November I thought I was starting a new phase of my life. Now, a few months later that new phase has been flipped and turned and rocketed into a newness I’m not yet accustomed to. Rather than returning home, as I probably should have, to start over, I decided to do the last thing a scaredy cat like me would ever do – I set out on my own.

I am currently in Auckland, New Zealand pulling my head together and enjoying the Kiwi scenery. From here I plan to head to Australia to see old friends and from there who knows. But I know that I’ll be doing it on my own and that’s scary for me. Sure I’ve travelled (and many of you have read about those travels) but I’ve always done it with someone. My wanderings have always been planned in quite some detail. This trip isn’t that. Heck, I’ve already inadvertently gone over budget and I’m not that far into this quest of self.

I plan to try to document my travels in this blog and hope that you’ll stop by once in a while to see where I am. Some of my posts will be about my new adventures but I also intend to write about my life Before. After all, I have six months of Norwegian wonders to catch you up on too.

There’s a song on the “Pricilla Queen of the Desert” soundtrack that has the following line: “I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.” Yup, that’s me in a nutshell. I’ve travelled all over the world and tried to be everyone else’s perfect version of me. This trip is about finding out who I am when I don’t have someone telling me first. I’m ready to find ME.