Thursday, June 08, 2006

X-Men: The Last Sequel?

So Hubby and I, and a bunch of friends all went to see the new X-men movie a few weeks ago. I insisted on watching the movie opening weekend since, as rumor has it, I am an obsessed Xfan. We even went early to make sure that we could all get tickets and whatnot. What a let down.

I’m sorry, but Rogue would never, ever, ever have taken the cure. No way! The director claims that he didn’t know what else Rogue could have done in the movie but he is obviously very short sighted as I came up with a great rewrite that includes Rogue in the final battle within moments of the movie ending.

So Rogue thinks about getting the cure and goes to the center; this was a good side plot and did a good job of dramatizing the moral conflict the cure presented to the Mutants. Cut to the battle when Wolverine says he's the only one who can defeat Phoenix: Rogue shows up and says, that she's there to help. She absorbs Logan's healing power and Colossus' powers and then goes to Jean to absorb her powers. Bonus to my version is that Jean doesn’t die and can be in the next movie. I am a genius! (Yes, I know there are a lot of problems with this idea but I’m still bitter over the lack of Rogue in the movie.)

And what was with it suddenly turning from day to night just before the battle on Alcatraz? There were so many plot holes in this movie. Why can’t more directors just call me to fix their movies rather than release poor copies of the greatness that could have been?

Worst of all is that they are saying that this is it: no more X-men movies. *sob* How could they end it like that? They killed off great characters, wrecked the great and classic Dark Phoenix saga, and had Rogue take the cure. (Yeah, I know I already mentioned it but it bore repeating.)

Since I know that Fox wants me to write the sequel to fix the nonsense that was The Last Stand, I have drafted the introductory scenes for your perusal.

As we all know, the cure from X3 doesn't work, and how long it takes to wear off seems to depend upon the person. So here is how we fix things and bring the Marvel-verse back into the movies: Marie, as she is now known, is cured and loving touching things, becomes a doctor who specializes in helping mutants. She and Bobby have since broken up since she's not one of them and he is a poopyhead.

Cut to the hospital where she works and a mutant by the name of Ms. Marvel is brought to see her. Marie is working on helping her and something in the room goes awry and she ends up with her hands on Ms. Marvel trying to protect her and all of a sudden her powers come back, and gains her Ms. Marvel abilities of flying and super strength!

Struggling to deal with all that happened she returns to the X-men and meets Gambit who tells Bobby (in that sexy Cajun accent) he's an idiot for dumping her. Rogue takes back her X-men name and stays at the school to learn her new powers and, ultimately, to fight the Big Bad of X4.

And all that was just the first 20 minutes of the movie. So what do you think: did X3 suck as much as I think? Is my version of the new movie as awesome as my sugar-induced mind would have me believe?

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