I’m afraid that today’s post will take the form of a slight rant. You see, I just finished watching yet another sitcom where the main conflict between the main characters was someone forgetting a birthday or anniversary. That person then had to figure out why their Significant Other was mad, apologize, and then spend the rest of the program making up for their “mistake.” When I told my friend Adelpha how stupid I found this set up, she said I couldn’t possibly understand since Hubby had never done anything as lame brained as forget an important holiday.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: I don’t star in a situation comedy with lame recycled scripts because I have learned to nag with subtlety and unwavering persistence. My husband has never forgotten our anniversary because I start talking about it months before it rolls around. My birthday is a holiday worth celebrating in style so I give Hubby gift ideas dozens of weeks in advance. (He usually ignores these hints but that doesn’t stop me from sending links to important online shopping sites.) I also have a calendar with all of our important dates written in bright indelible ink, hung in a prominent place in our kitchen.
Men need reminders to go to the supermarket on the way home to pick up ingredients for dinner. They need to be nagged about putting the toilet seat down and replacing toilet paper on the roll. What made you think they would remember something as simple as the day their lives changed for the better? (That would be your wedding anniversary, for the singles out there.)
The lesson here is if our man forgets your special day, don’t get mad at him, yell at yourself! Why didn’t you remind him? Why didn’t you present him with a selection of restaurants to take you to celebrate your big day? He loves you but chances are he’s more concerned with football scores to worry about something as “unimportant” as the day his beloved came into this world. So nudge him! He’ll appreciate it later when he’s not the main character in next week’s episode of Lame Sitcom’s R Us.
Sorry for the rant, folks but it’s just my humble opinion.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: I don’t star in a situation comedy with lame recycled scripts because I have learned to nag with subtlety and unwavering persistence. My husband has never forgotten our anniversary because I start talking about it months before it rolls around. My birthday is a holiday worth celebrating in style so I give Hubby gift ideas dozens of weeks in advance. (He usually ignores these hints but that doesn’t stop me from sending links to important online shopping sites.) I also have a calendar with all of our important dates written in bright indelible ink, hung in a prominent place in our kitchen.
Men need reminders to go to the supermarket on the way home to pick up ingredients for dinner. They need to be nagged about putting the toilet seat down and replacing toilet paper on the roll. What made you think they would remember something as simple as the day their lives changed for the better? (That would be your wedding anniversary, for the singles out there.)
The lesson here is if our man forgets your special day, don’t get mad at him, yell at yourself! Why didn’t you remind him? Why didn’t you present him with a selection of restaurants to take you to celebrate your big day? He loves you but chances are he’s more concerned with football scores to worry about something as “unimportant” as the day his beloved came into this world. So nudge him! He’ll appreciate it later when he’s not the main character in next week’s episode of Lame Sitcom’s R Us.
Sorry for the rant, folks but it’s just my humble opinion.
24 comments:
Sverre is in charge of remembering exact dates and things in this household. But my trick is to make sure I have a gift stashed away WELL in advance. That way if I forget, tada! Already taken care of!
You know, I couldn't agree more! I hate when some of my girlfriends decide to play the "I'm not going to say anything about {insert special occasion here} and just see if he remembers". UGH! And how many times are they actually going to make an episode about it on TV?!?
Speaking of sending hints, have you ever noticed that on tiffany.com they have a cute little button next to all their products that says "drop a hint" so you can mail it to your s/o. Love it.
OK, clearly I went of on a tangent about that too. Sorry :|
Happy Friday! :)
Corinne - I like that idea!
In our house, I'm the one who always forgets the dates - hubby reminds me. I think he has a reminder program on his pc which gives him a 'ring' on entered dates.
I only prepare for my children's birthdays and Christmas - I ALWAYS forget the rest - ALWAYS.......
And if hubby ever had to forget? Well, he's done such a fab job of keeping up that I would suggest something to do myself - or insist on going shopping the next day and chose my own gifts. SO much more practical....
You may remember the time when my s/o forgot the wedding anniversary? (Well...maybe you weren't around then!) NEVER again.
Anyway, we always go to Millcroft on Canada Day now--it is also our anniversary--and the reason we (mainly I) choose that date on which to get married!
Typ0 learned her strategy from a reliable source. :)
merthyrmum
AMEN Sister! I can't stand whiners that don't take the initiative to make sure they get what they want. Whether it be celebrations or sharing of child and household duties... if it's important to you you have to SAY something... he's probably not a mind reader, no matter how much he loves you. It's a marriage, not a game show.
You've got the right idea. When you play the "wait and see" game, you set yourself up for disappointment and make the other person feel guilty to boot. Too much anguish.
Good for you- hang in there.
Thanks for stopping by :)
I agree with you on some level. Making your husband guess why he is mad at you is ridiculous. What are we...in middle school? However, I think that assuming that men are incapable of remembering important dates is selling them short. Men and women speak different languages but, if we tell them something is important to us, they will respond accordingly. Approaching it as inspiring them as opposed to nagging lead to much better interpersonal respect and communication between the sexes! That's my two cents:-)
LOL! I'll never understand why men can't figure their stuff out...I know they are from Mars but still...sounds like you've found a way to work with.
much love
Amen! I am in absolute agreement. I would never get upset with my husband for forgetting a special occasion. He's not a good one for holidays (even if I do remind him), but I figure there are more important things in life.
I don't let things like that ruffle my feathers. :)
You are an absolute delight. Absolutely.
My favorite birthday was the one where I asked my husband to just get me a card - and write something sweet in it. So...he got me a sweet card...and just wrote "love, Michael" at the bottom. I was irate :-) I have come to realize he is an engineer...and being incredibly detailed and literal in my instructions is the best option!
Men are not mind readers. I have a running 'wish list' on Amazon and every time I add something to it, I email the brand-new updated list to him. And since Christmas, our anniversary, and our birthdays are all within one month, I make sure he's well armed with adequate gift ideas. And there's so many, I usually forget what I've put on there and am surprised anyway!
I would like to think my husband remembers my birthday/ our anniversary on his own. Certainly my talk of it months in advance plays a roll, but I will continue to allow myself to think he is just cool like that. ;)
-Surferwife
I once dated a guy who never bought me any presents for my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, whatever. I'd let him know weeks in advance that the special day was coming up but I guess he just didn't care. Stupidly, I was also engaged to this guy. And he couldn't even be bothered to get me a ring! Yeah...we didnt' last long together!
Another blogger in cairo! Awesome :)
Oh for sure. I begin talking about whatever the date is that is coming up well in advance of the date. I'd say something to the effect that I'm so excited about (insert occasion). And as the days roll by maybe not every day I think that would be overkill, I mention past (insert occasion) and wonder what this year's (insert occasion) will be like.
I did not start doing that as a way to remind my husband but it certainly serves that purpose for sure. We are all human and can forget sometimes and it is not because the occasion was not important to the person. It just means that humanity chose a wrong time to show itself.
You actually have a pretty valid point here!
LOL! I think men get married so they don' have to remember all these things anymore - they have us for that...
Great opinion!! :)
Yup, nag nag nag. I plaster when my birthday is all over after having several years of not getting a gift on my birthday!
I can say without a doubt that my husband has never forgotten my birthday nor our anniversary! He's not all that good about bringing flowers or things home for no reason (although he often brings home a bottle of my favorite wine!) but the really special days, he never forgets. I guess I'm lucky!
IMHO...........get a life, give up watching sitcoms.
Do more blogging, throw a frisbee, walk the cat / ferret/ dog / elephant
BUT......NO TELEVISION
O.M.G. It's like you're reading my mind! Hubby and I cannot stand those sitcoms for that very reason! (Why didn't he/she just tell them about X??) A successful relationship is all about communication. Luckily for hubby, I learned that trick before we met, so we never have to live through our own sitcom hell. I also tell him what I want for bdays, holidays, etc. And, we choice the restaurants together for anniversaries.
I hope you're doing well in Cairo. I'm hanging in there here in Cali. I also need to get off my duff and just start blogging again!
Hilarious! And a pretty good point!
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