Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Important Questions

Warning: If you are lacking a sense of humor or do not like vampires, the following post will confuse you and leave you wondering if the author has taken leave of her senses.

Don't judge me too harshly but I not only own all the books but I actually paid good money to see Sparkle Vamps 3: TwiHard with a Vengeance Eclipse shortly after it opened in July. I'll even admit I was pleasantly surprised with the film. Great one-liners (Jacob: “Let’s face it, I am hotter than you.”), bad special effects (Victoria’s laugh inducing beheading), and plenty of teen angst had people in the theatre squealing with delight throughout the film.

For those of you not familiar with its questionable charms, the Sparkle Vamps Twilight series, is, to quote my eternally hilarious friend Ceecee: “basically about an ugly girl who has to decide whether she’s into bestiality or necrophilia.” I am loathe to spoil the ending for those of you who haven’t read the last book yet but let’s just say that Bella isn’t a dog person.

Jokes about lame bedazzled vampires who prefer chasing deer to biting necks aside… No wait that was the point of this post. Anyways, as I watched TwiHard with a Vengeance, I started thinking about my two greatest vampire loves: Eric Northman and Spike.

Those of you familiar only with True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgård cannot begin to understand how painfully sexy Charlaine Harris’s Eric in the Southern Vampire Mysteries books is. Not that Skarsgård isn’t drool-worthy (I may like to read but I’m not blind) but the literary Eric literally melts the pages he’s so hot. Then there’s Spike – my first great vampire love. For fellow Spuffy-believers out there, I have only one word for you: Smashed.

Now that we’re all on the same drool-tastic page, I will leave it to you to pick the best fictional vampire (As opposed to actually vampire. 'Natch.). Just to clarify, Edward is not in the running because real vampires don’t sparkle! So vote now for your favourite Fanged One or leave a comment to join the long list of people who think I’m certifiably insane.

IMPORTANT NOTES: Today’s awesome and giggle-worthy photo is courtesy of my friends the Quarantine Kids who passed through Sparkle Town a few weeks ago.

Later today I will be attending a talk at the Sydney Opera House given by… wait for it… JOSS freaking WHEDON! I’ll post all my fangirl ravings about the event later this week so stay tuned!


sprinkles said...

Yay, you're back and posting again! I know I said that yesterday but I really missed you and am glad to see that you'll be posting regularly again!

Melissa said...

I vote Bella's dad.

Pseudo said...

Hey, haven't seen you for awhile!

I'm not a huge vampire follower, but love True Blood.

cheatymoon said...

I'm just getting started on the Sookie Stackhouse books and have not seen the series.
I agree w/ above commenter that Bella's dad is hot.
Fave vampire is Gary Oldman.
Good to see you posting!
(Have fun seeing Joss Whedon - impressive!)

Unknown said...

I'm not into vampires... but then again after your post... I may have to see what I can get on DVD.. hmmm.
Just glad you are back posting!

N said...

I love True Blood and Eric! I'm addicted to the show to the point I bought a Merlotte's waitress outfit at HBO in NYC ;)

And I even drank the "real" true blood out of a pretty red glass bottle just like in the series :D

Connie said...

Definitely Eric from True Blood, and the book version over the TV :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I guess I am just a dog person. Yummy Jacob!


Unknown said...

Glad to see you're posting again TyPo! I'll leave you and your followers to determine the best fictional vampire.

Unknown said...

So glad to have you back! I went to see Eclipse with a friend even though I loathe the books - yes! I said it! abstinence is not sexy! - and we had a smashing good time. I almost pissed myself laughing when the audience roared at Edward's comments about sex and marriage. And I haven't read the Stackhouse books, but I'm Team Eric all the way. Holy crap!

Anonymous said...

I just want to know whether you got the book(s) signed and if you actually got to speak with him...