Feed Me, Please

Yeah, I’m not going to beat around the bush – your favorite Blogger B!tch isn’t a size six. Heck I’m not even a size six times two. There are days when I look at myself and think, “Typ0, sweetie, get your cute little butt in gear and go to the gym, dammit!” And other days when I sternly admonish myself, “Did we really need that chocolate croissant?” The answer to that last one is usually yes, by the way.

Then there are other days when I totally get why it is that I can’t have a gastric bypass surgery, and why it is that even when (not if!) I get down to a size 12 I will never ever be that elusive size six. You see I love food. Not just as a concept to keep me alive, but more as a method to keep me sane, happy, and blissfully content. Simply put: I live to eat not the other way around.

Here in Nairobi, I look forward to going out to eat at the incredible restaurants that can be found all over town. (I’m totally craving sushi right now!) Plus Hubby and I are known to cook up fabulous meals during the week that would make even Anthony Bourdain’s mouth water. But after all of these days of cooking Thai basil curry, wild mushroom risotto, and spicy Ethiopian curry, I can’t wait to get back to the wonderful edible delights that await us in the Real World.

What is that I look forward to when I go on home leave? Yeah the bookstores and the ability to drink tap water are really cool but I want the FOOD. I want my mum’s new lamb curry that I tried last time I was home, I want Qdoba, I want McDonald’s… And I’m not fussy – I love homemade food, fast food, exquisite restaurant food, street food: I’m a foodie so basically no matter where we go I’m going to be a happy girl. And goodness knows that we’re going to be traveling from one side of the country to the other this home leave.

For bonus food points, on our way back to Kenya we’re staying at a hotel in Dubai that boasts a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. How freaking cool is that?! I’m going to eat food created by the F-Word loving chef that hates my Naked Chef sweetie Jamie Oliver. And that’s why we chose the hotel. I can’t wait!

Just when I thought that our trip home couldn’t get any better came the ultimate in food themed news. I decided to Google Mario Batali to see if he had any new cookbooks coming out. That’s when I found out that he had just opened a new restaurant. In Vegas. At the hotel we’re staying at. YAY!!!! As I type this I have already called Hubby to tell him the good news, and am making online reservations for the Saturday night we’re there. I’m going to be able to eat Mario Batali’s food!! This is going to be so freaking cool.

(Would it seem tacky to bring my very food stained, very used copy of one his books there with me all the way from Kenya just on the off chance he might be there to sign it in person? Or is that a little too fangirl and stalker-ish?)

It would be so much easier to lose weight if food wasn’t so yummy. Now pass me the Kraft Dinner – I’m hungry again.